When people around say, "You will cherish these moments", I think to myself , "No". I can barely breathe at times after the time I have left after feeding, bathing and caring for my little one. I feel like my soul has been crushed somewhere to pieces so small, that is hard to even find now. Five extra minutes in the shower feel like a lifetime and one meet up with Besties after ages feel like I have got back my life.
I never thought I could love anyone more than my Dad, and then came my husband. I thought this would be the last love. And before I would be pleased, God sent an angel, my daughter. For 8 years, she was my world and my love for her was unmatchable. I was contented and life was great. While there was no reason to crack open my heart again, making it dependent upon the well being of yet another little person.
I knew our personal goals would be delayed, our travel trips put on hold and many comforts would be needed to sacrificed. As soon as I gave permission to myself, there it was. Yet another somebody whom I love incredibly and compares not to any other love I had before.
My living room is chaotic, kids are shrieking with uncanny hops and tumbles,with their dad equally enjoying this loud overwhelming love. I didn't quite imagine this scenario, neither did I know my daughter of such divine character in past even had such abilities. And moments later my heart pouring out with love only a mother can know watching her family. But this doesn't last long. One eye on the clock that reminds me that I am running fifteen minutes late to put kids to sleep which would impact only my schedule the next day ( who cares ). Also the bedtime is one of the best times to see cute button routines of reading the same book over and again, cuddles, hugs and kisses just pouring endlessly and some magic words before they finally rest, and me too. But kids are great at stalling sleep. Just so you know a mother's love can endure any reluctance to sleep, another reason for them to have conversations.
In morning with everyone is gone for the chores, me and my young buddy are home. This is the time when amid all ruckus we find some magic moments that make life worthwhile. I can't just wait to pick up my young man after he wakes up. All drooly and mushy love over my face and shoulders give a sense of belonging, The chubby little fingers are always reaching out for something they aren't supposed to. The little gaa gaa, made up words and beginning of talking is so endearing, I would want him to continue forever. Running my hands through his golden blonde smooth locks melts my heart and gives me such pleasure when it is enough to put him to sleep. I love seeing him taking naps, they seem to be so angelic, faces seem so kissable that you want them to wake up to be in your arms. I would rather just keep that as a secret and never let him know, who would want to give a few hours of sanity! His loud toys and annoying songs have become so much a part that I keep humming it to myself.
The best of this routine is that he looks upto me for everything he needs- food, comfort, bath, change of clothes, nap, entertainment, play and of all love. It feels great to be responsible for someone who is my reflection, a part of me outside my body. Love grows and multiplies with family and leaves us with innumerable memories to last a lifetime.
