New Child, New Hopes

Becoming a mother second time wasn't only hard for me but also unnerving. No, not for the fact that I had lost zeal and energy I had seven years back but more so as people had started seeing seven year gap as a itch. No matter how convinced I was with my decision to be a mother again when I wanted to, people had already fabricated innumerous tales. But I guess nosy do gooders sense the air of confidence and leave you alone.

I had given myself enough time to be prepared to bring yet another being to life whom I have to nurture beautifully and completely. Yes it did take a long time for people around to understand. Kiaan, the name abounds blessings, the grace of God and truly he is, what I believe. 

After Dad parted ways with me, I was no longer interested in the world around me. In frustration to test waters around self, I questioned Almighty of his presence around me and that is when a desire to have a boy was born. I wished for my Dad's personification that was truly mine. And God bestowed upon me her blessings, a beautiful present on the day of Christmas of 2017. 

Kiaan, soon to be three month old has been an amusing little creature and his escapades have been legendary. Every evening when we both look forward to an evening stroll, a part of me is undusting the lost hopes and charms an unetched mind brings.

Aware of his routine, Kiaan was quiet as I lay him in the stroller and fastened the belt. His beautiful big eyes dilated to accommodate immense beauty nature had on offer and sharp ears to absorb distinct sounds. My little dazzler didn't blink an eye ensuring he didn't miss any moment of spectacular display around him, from deep shadow of a canopy of a tree to sun lit evening sky, whisper of our passage through the dry grass to the thick clouds with a silver lining, buzzing sounds of playful children to the whirring chizz of the insects, call of Koel to the ringing phones, tall glassy buildings to heavy traffic on the street across. His ears were responding from the quietest whisper to the loudest bark of a dog. His mouth opened several times in awe and closed itself without much intervention. It seemed like he had seen something I never saw in last four years of my stay in this condo. He soon made me see beyond the cursory look I always had. The same place started to appear magical and celestial. 

Every evening we both look forward to our magical time of unwinding, unlearning and learning new things, of building hopes and dreams from scratch, of enjoying our present and living the moment.