Resharing the Article - Soulful Eating, Soulful Dabba

The article has been first published by Greenisthenewblack 

OPINION: Soulful Eating, Soulful Dabba

by Geetika Ghai

 

02/03/2021

 

Last updated on 02/03/2021

 Reading Time: 6 minutes

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You may have heard of mindful eating but have you heard of soulful Dabba? In this guest post, Geetika Ghai shares some prompts for a more soulful experience with how we prepare and enjoy our daily food.

I have been conscious of the season of indulgence overload of pies, cookies and candies. Being new to sobriety, I am in a dilemma with fast and furious approaching the feasting season. Anticipating fierce conversations around food and body is already giving me nightmares of unrealistic standards of body image and I have started paying close attention to all perfect desirable body types in the commercials.

Following my overpowering and confidence shattering thoughts, I stood up in front of the mirror today. I found my own image a bit murky. I thought the mirror had picked up dirt and I tried to clean it up. But I looked at myself again in the mirror and the image was still cloudy. I tried washing and cleaning up my face and thought this would bring a change in the image. But I still couldn’t see any clearer. It was a time to pause and reflect. My foggy self reminded me of driving the car. Constantly I need to keep checking the rearview mirror to be able to drive carefully on the road. No matter even if the mirror is unclean, broken or tainted, I must focus on going forward despite what I see in the mirror.

The mirror is meant for reflection.

But most of us just give a quick glance at our very appearance, body types, imperfections and not our existence. Children recognise their appearance in the mirror before they see themselves. But as adults, we look in the mirror with a preconceived judgement. It takes time and consideration to get a real beautiful image of yourself in the mirror but the journey itself could be rewarding. Over time dirt might have accumulated on the mirror and might be affecting how you see reality. But that can be changed. All you need is to believe that even one small step can bring change.

Often it’s said, ‘You are what you eat’.

Have you ever felt happy, excited or the opposite after consuming certain foods? Food affects all aspects of our life – mood, energy, sleep, weight, development and health in general. What we put in our bodies can be a reflection of what we want to be. To change the way we think, we need to assure ourselves that our body needs to be nurtured. Thus it makes it a vital component of our “routine of eating”. Focussing on nutrition should be a priority and food should be soulful, offering a deep sense of fulfilment, pleasure and conscious love and living.

What are we packing?

One fine day, as I made my way home, I saw a young girl, almost my daughter’s age stopping by the bin emptying her Tiffin or Dabba (lunchbox) near the condo gate. Thereafter I have seen the same girl on many occasions doing the same before she heads for her home. The mother in me was quick to be furious at the act but I just let it pass thinking about my own childhood days when I fed the glass of milk every morning to the Money Plant on the first storey, away from my mother’s discern. But when I witnessed that on many occasions this girl just didn’t throw the leftovers but the whole food, it made me wonder the reasons for her actions and compelled me to pause and reflect as a parent. 

Do I want that Tiffin to be finished or am I packing it with an appeal for my kids to enjoy the meal while deriving nutrition from it at the same time? Is that Dabba offering food for thought, appeasing the taste buds, calming the mind, and rejuvenating the soul? Well for an eleven-year-old girl, I think offering her choices and nutrition and asking what does she want might do the trick.

What is a Dabba?

According to Collins Dictionary, A Dabba is a container or a box with packed meal(s) that could be transported from one place to another. Tiffin on the other hand has its early origins in British in India conversations. The word Tiffin comes from ‘tiffing’, which referred to taking a sip of liquor alongside food being consumed. It was with the Indians and the British that the tiffin carrier reached other parts of the world including Raffles Hotel in Singapore, where Indianised food is served in them. 

My daughter shares her preferences for the week which makes it easier for me to plan ahead, and to add wholesome captivating varied foods in her Dabba. Preparing a Dabba might be a ritual experience, but we add the personal. Whether it’s a bento box, sectioned for different portions of food or multi-layer carrier for keeping dry and wet foods separately or thermal pots to keep the food warmer for longer, all are convenient and can be a panacea ailing the soul.

Enter the need for a soulful Dabba.

Preparing a soulful Dabba is all about taking slow thoughtful and sustainable steps into preparing meals with love. Soulful eating is more than just the act of mindful eating, it is looking at the entire procss. It is listening to the body’s wisdom and reaching for spiritual experiences through the Dabba. For that, we need to rethink a few steps in the journey.

We often just quickly take out or cook what is available to save our time and fulfil our gastronomical delight. Little do we know we consume food to nourish our body and soul. It is a spiritual connection of body to heart. Packing your Dabba, a box with food is a conscious choice of your preferred taste and flavours. Hence, the most important ingredient, Love should be integral to all corners of it. Infuse it with passion, colour and culinary aesthetics and voila, a Dabba turns out to be your true personality.

1. Buying

Should be a treat for all your senses. Here are a few pointers:

1. Make a proper budgeted list keeping in mind the meal plan for a week.

2. Choose the ingredients carefully that can provide nutrition and are wholesome.

3. Pay attention to the longevity of the items and include fresh items (fruits and vegetables, less processed food). Store the food correctly and identify perishables to be consumed first.

4. Buy what you need and what you intend to use immediately. Overbuying leads to overconsumption or wastage or both.

5. Preserve what is extra. Use techniques like pickling, drying, freezing, fermenting to give foods longer life and varied taste.

2. Cooking

Should be like a meditation, a path of self-actualisation and self-realisation. Food cooked with love is consumed with love and minimises wastage.

1. Pay attention to portion, size and appetite.

2. Be wary of nutritive value for consumers of varied age groups, workstyles and dietary restrictions.

3. Use the skin, peels in your cooking as far as possible. Most of them contain vitamins and minerals which get lost due to inadequate knowledge.

4. Use the ugly looking, wilting vegetables and foods. No one is judging.

3. Packaging

Most packaging is single-use and is typically thrown away. It is discarded and lands up in the landfills or carried by winds to pollute land or water. Besides its hideous appearance, it spreads out far and beyond.

1. Choose a container that keeps the flavours intact, invites the consumer to open it and eat the food.

2. Buy less packaged food items.

3. Carry Reusables – cups, bottles, straws, containers as far as possible. Go strawless if possible. 

4. Eating

This part of the food preparation process is often short-lived and overlooked. But it can be harnessed to drive deeper inspiration and connection. in our lives. Eating can be a magical transformation, from a dining table or a seat in a restaurant, to a whimsical world of unreachable shores and borders, from basic conversations to an enlightening experience. Eating can bring peace to a stormy mind, energy when lethargic and joy when sorrowful.

1. Pay attention to where you seat when eating. It should give a sense of belonging and comfort.

2. Disconnect with all other activities like phone, television and sometimes even talking. It is your time to be with yourself.

3. Connect with food as it is laid on the table. Food has many components elevating myriad thoughts. Noticing just the things as they are, vibrant colours, pungent smells, fresh fragrance or sticky spots, add to the rich experiences of the food journey.

4. Show gratitude to each bite you consume slowly, savour the flavours and respect the source of the food.

5. Find Joy in this everyday ritual of eating. Find rejuvenation in this practice and achieve inner self-care.

6. Share your Dabba with others, at home, at work. Not only you enjoy the company but you bring joy to many more. Donate your leftover food to people or organisations who need it the most.

This eating ritual will help to foster a deeper appreciation for food, flavours and taste, as well as be nourishing for your body, mind and soul. You may feel enthusiasm and positivity uplifting your life. And find yourself making better choices for food and better choices for living sustainability. 

5. Disposal or Recycling

Even if you managed to follow all the above steps carefully, there might be unseen leftovers or scraps that need your attention. Recycle food or dispose of what is leftover with thought to complete the soulful process.

1. Save the seeds from scrap and use them to create your green garden.

2. Make homemade stock with scraps of vegetables or chicken or meat bones.

3. Composting is a great way to turn food scraps into wealth for the family.

4. Use your coffee grounds to make a natural mosquito repellant.

5. Turning Food Waste into useful products

 

Dabba has come a long way from stacked boxes for storing butter to aluminium and stainless steel for cooking and storing food. Next time you pack that Dabba, pause and reflect on how you wish to master the art of preparing a soulful Dabba. Not only will it have a love-lasting effect on your loved ones, but generations later will thank you for your sustainable efforts and taking some pressure off Mother Nature. 

 

Read more from the author at Geetstrivium.

Life@3 is Beautiful : Kiaan

Life@3 is beautiful.

It’s hard being a fun rollicking 3 year old boy, especially growing up listening to Dont’s and No’s. I have tuned my way out of it though.

There are lot of amazing things about me, my nickname Bobo, Sheenu, Keena. I am in love with the Zoo and the animals, especially the Crocodile for its gigantic snap, monkey for its frivolousness, spider for its weaving ability and Dinosaurs for its magnanimity. Spider-Man is my favourite superhero character for its arachnid ability, power to save others with his friendliness.

I love listening to stories and songs latest being Gini ( Lamborghini) and Peppa Pig Songs.

Monsters intrigue me with their emotions and I find them funny and feel they want attention. .

My teachers say I am creative and weave a lot of stories, some to their dismay. I am good at physical activities and love exploring machines. I help at home setting up the Table for meals.

I am overtly assertive and feel it’s my right to express my opinion. Mum says lately I have been chatty and following in Big Sister’s footsteps. I am not glad though for it was a big awakening for my parents after a saintly divine sister.

I have my challenges too. Brushing teeth is the biggest one with mum doing it for me all the time. I don’t get it why take the toothpaste in if you eventually need to spit out. That’s like double the trouble. With Dad, I can do all fun things like swinging, flipping, somersault and kickboxing. Mum gets worried though thinking I will bring down the house one day , haha , never say never.

I am conscious of my duties and I’d like to do them on daily basis. My parents think it’s exhausting and frustrating and I have no sense of urgency. While waiting for me to put on my shoes at school, or eating my breakfast or drinking the milk or playing for 2 minutes with my toys seems endless and torturing to them, that’s my routine for the day. I am mindfully practising all my chores and perfection comes with time .

Life at 3 is demanding and exhaustive, not for me though. I will continue to be the same Kiaan

 

Don a Mask, Unmask the Kindness within

While some of us may have accepted changes to our routine post Covid as a new normal, there are many people who are finding getting out of bed challenging everyday. Now don't be judgemental. More than being overwhelming, the new circumstances at the moment are mostly devoid of human interactions and motivations.

We all don a mask everyday when we step out for mundane yet necessary chores or for a breather walk. While we all want peace of mind but tresspassing somebody's mental state seems normal these days. We are quick to spot a maskless person out of our window in a jiffy and don't refrain from taking pictures. We are seeking out people in big bunch just to point fingers at them and blaming them of not maintaining the social distance.

We have been on the world news and have come across many instances where people have been condoned for not being socially responsible. But haven't we forgotten that Animal is a social animal. We ought to mingle and share joys and sorrows. Suddenly we were thrown in a sea of challenges, some of us skilled to adapt to changes fast whilst some who don't know what to do all alone.

The times are challenging but more challenging are the perspectives and lens with which we meet an eye. We are all feeling lonely and burdened with our own anguish. We all are fighting our own battles everyday. All we could do is show some kindness to each and all. Spare a moment to put yourself in others' shoes and create a gracious community.

Kindness is not about what you do or say, but about who you are. It reflects your values and beliefs and the bigger purpose in life. It brings happiness at both ends. Just a few simple acts could be a beginning but the journey is long and never ending. It is a desire in the heart to reach the other heart with love and compassion, trust and care and working in unity for better. Greeting each other with a smile beaming through eyes alone in a masked face, air hugs, checking on each others' welfare, sharing meals and other resources, touching base with friends and relatives and just listening to their stories are some ways to spread kindness. But more than this, being there for each other is far more significant. And letting people know that you are there for them goes beyond. As we dwell deeper into emotional turbulence in coming times, having a positive mindset and thoughtfulness for others can prove miraculous. Show your true mankind and make graciousness a part of life.

A regular dose of kindness can uplift us and the others.

A sheer coincidence, a blessing in disguise, All Praise for Singapore

Coronavirus!

The last three months have devastated our thoughts, our daily routines, and jeopardised travel plans for most of us. But this name which started as Wuhan, then Corona and eventually Covid-19 is well known amongst old and young indeed.

Our basic practise of washing hands has been revisited by many of us and disinfecting the house on a daily basis has gone berserk. Coming home now requires some serious attention to maintaining this practice not just for self and children but even educating the House help. For someone like myself with an OCD has extra checks to maintain for cleanliness especially with a high energy exploring toddler at home.

I remember my mother mocking at me to overreacting to the invasion of virus in our lives. While the scientists are still scrambling their heads to understand the complexity of the virus, my mother had advised me to build up immunity with an age old Indian tradition of drinking Turmeric Milk and eating Sacred Basil and chanting and meditation as the saviour from all calamity. I wonder if that was the case why all such pious place of religious congregation were the first ones to spread transmission so quickly and shut down during this crisis.

Despite the chaos in the world, dooming world economies, panicking people hoarding the basic necessities and wasting them later, most of the people working from home, one good thing about it has been being more visible to the family. It has been a challenge though to see spouses working from home who feel no less than a quarantine in a study or wives outside in the living room quietly doing the chores with minimal interaction during the day, yet it is good to meet over lunch or a cup of coffee with your spouse so often.

When we often complain of having no or less time in hand and lives to be so busy, this our chance to think out of the box and rejuvenate with fresh ideas. It could be starting an online business, virtual meetings or even parties, or just being creative with painting, craft or art. Baking or Cooking might be your therapy or just chilling with Netflix on a loop. Spending more time with kids and family, watching some National Geography and gathering some facts on Nature, Wildlife and History could be a great idea for keeping your kids busy.

I feel fortunate to be in Singapore as a resident at this point in my life. When the Covid-19 first gathered attention outside China, it was for Singapore. When most of the world was amused with high transmission rates in such a tiny country, little did they realise that this country has no room for suspicion. Comparatively more tests were conducted across the island and the people were communicated about the cases' history and progress via a transparent channel. No social stigma, best healthcare facilities and no name shaming were crucial in winning over people's trust and ascertain of suspected cases. Amid such rising cases the peace still prevailed as the Prime Minister addressed the nation in calm composure assuring of services and resources availabilty. In the time of crisis, that is what keeps us in a single piece giving us strength and confidence that together we can overcome even the biggest obstacles. Most of the people are wondering as to why the schools aren't shutting down, the government has plausible response to this too. Research has found that most young kids have shown no or mild infection and most of them have contracted it at home from adults, thus making schools a safer haven for them.

Undoubtedly as the crisis is at peak and there is a considerable spike in the cases in Singapore and worldwide, the actions by the government will change drastically over a next few weeks and months. But in a country like ours, I feel we are in safe hands and Singapore will emerge successfully out of this eventually.

A night out at Highlanders

So what does a night out mean for a Tee-totaler?

A boring noisy night in the most outlandish set up amid people who are drowning in smokes and bubbles.

Not quite like that.

After a long time as much as I remember, to me this 'Night out' meant a good and quality time with my husband without worrying about household chores and more so about settling the kids. Mom was visiting us and I knew she is the one I can rely on for everything that can possibly go wrong when I am not at home. Yes I think I am a superwomen who can handle the kids, home. work and all so mundane chores with elan which I regard as keeping on the track.

So after putting the kids to bed, we set out on a calm and composed drive, listening to beautiful songs and enjoying every bit of time together. After much thought about the place, we ended up in Clarke Quay's 'Highlanders'.

A very upbeat loud Scottish pub with a location where you could just gaze out of the window to see the world pass by or facing inwards the large Alfresco with a great collection ( I think ) of Whisky and Wines. But my favourite part of the pub was good live music playing and engaging the dancers of all sorts. It was good to hold a glass of non-alcoholic drink and still being able to have a tempo to set the spirit high to groove and move just in place. It also sort of left me thinking gazing at the table just next to me with a big group of people, like having an After Party after Formula 1 Race. They were all cladded in casual yet flirtatious attire, the body language was flowy yet crisp, their talks were loose yet their wallets were tight. In a place like Singapore, it comes as a great feeling and gratitude towards the people to see how one can leave their wallets or phones on the table with a place overflowing with people and sheer darkness with only disco lights witnessing the move. The people were high and some of them were just cooling them off under the aircon, whilst others were shaking their booties in passage. Some of them were just waiting for a hook up , whilst others occupied a corner enjoying their sobriety.

I was enjoying encountering a variety of people under one roof and without being judgemental, I was probing their mood, attire and behaviour. A big group of girls grooving infront of us and almost pushing my husband to a corner were much like desperate housewives having the time of their life. Men almost my Dad's age were still looking for younger company and some young men were lost in the room reeking of ciggy.

My take away of the night was a good time spent , talking endlessly about our affair with life and driving back home to my little precious world.

No other love compares to this one

When people around say, "You will cherish these moments", I think to myself , "No". I can barely breathe at times after the time I have left after feeding, bathing and caring for my little one. I feel like my soul has been crushed somewhere to pieces so small, that is hard to even find now. Five extra minutes in the shower feel like a lifetime and one meet up with Besties after ages feel like I have got back my life.

I never thought I could love anyone more than my Dad, and then came my husband. I thought this would be the last love. And before I would be pleased, God sent an angel, my daughter. For 8 years, she was my world and my love for her was unmatchable. I was contented and life was great. While there was no reason to crack open my heart again, making it dependent upon the well being of yet another little person.

I knew our personal goals would be delayed, our travel trips put on hold and many comforts would be needed to sacrificed. As soon as I gave permission to myself, there it was. Yet another somebody whom I love incredibly and compares not to any other love I had before.

My living room is chaotic, kids are shrieking with uncanny hops and tumbles,with their dad equally enjoying this loud overwhelming love. I didn't quite imagine this scenario, neither did I know my daughter of such divine character in past even had such abilities. And moments later my heart pouring out with love only a mother can know watching her family. But this doesn't last long. One eye on the clock that reminds me that I am running fifteen minutes late to put kids to sleep which would impact only my schedule the next day ( who cares ). Also the bedtime is one of the best times to see cute button routines of reading the same book over and again, cuddles, hugs and kisses just pouring endlessly and some magic words before they finally rest, and me too. But kids are great at stalling sleep. Just so you know a mother's love can endure any reluctance to sleep, another reason for them to have conversations.

In morning with everyone is gone for the chores, me and my young buddy are home. This is the time when amid all ruckus we find some magic moments that make life worthwhile. I can't just wait to pick up my young man after he wakes up. All drooly and mushy love over my face and shoulders give a sense of belonging, The chubby little fingers are always reaching out for something they aren't supposed to. The little gaa gaa, made up words and beginning of talking is so endearing, I would want him to continue forever. Running my hands through his golden blonde smooth locks melts my heart and gives me such pleasure when it is enough to put him to sleep.  I love seeing him taking naps, they seem to be so angelic, faces seem so kissable that you want them to wake up to be in your arms. I would rather just keep that as a secret and never let him know, who would want to give a few hours of sanity! His loud toys and annoying songs have become so much a part that I keep humming it to myself.

The best of this routine is that he looks upto me for everything he needs- food, comfort, bath, change of clothes, nap, entertainment, play and of all love. It feels great to be responsible for someone who is my reflection, a part of me outside my body. Love grows and multiplies with family and leaves us with innumerable memories to last a lifetime.

Fabulous Four Decades

So what has changed for me?
Nothing much except I am aware of the fact that I have seen four decades. Fate has transpired against me and yup I turned Forty. I feel awesome and fabulous. Though I had apprehensions an evening before I turned forty about my life’s purpose and value, I am quite sure of one thing; I am here to make a difference in someone’s Life.

I feel there has been a whiff of air around me that smells new, flowers blooming looked prettier than yesterday and sky looked humble with bejewelled clouds spreading its wings of joys. I feel my best friend, my dad still watching upon me and joined by mother in law in someplace, they both are applauding my journey so far.

Things have changed and I feel amiss. But nothing I could do about, so I am learning to be strong. I feel these four decades have seen me through thick and thin. There have been so many valuable lessons squeezed in quiet and not so extra ordinary life of mine. I am loving getting older, spending life with my husband and my two loving children. I am learning many new things everyday from them that it seems like a new beginning. I am beginning to except my flaws and admitting seems like the first move towards redirecting myself for better version of me. I have become more tolerant of situations, though might not be in good light always.

My birthday week has given me tremendous peace and love. Spending time away from life’s busy arms is the best gift one could give to themselves. This week I have had great time with myself, knowing what gives me happiness and inculcating in little joys that bring a smile in the face from within. I am grateful that I am meeting people in life for a reason and there is some connect with every soul we meet here. Life is uncertain and the only way to diminish these uncertainties is to mask them with memories. I would love to create endless memories and live life till I fade. Let this decade be an inward journey.

Kiaan is officially a Toddler !#?

My Darling Kiaan,

Congratulations. You are One ! and officially a Toddler now.

Although just considering that my heart aches. Not long before you were put on my chest and tiny hands and legs curled up on my face. I was all prepared for that day. I had make up on, so I guess!

Since then how amazing it has been to watch you grow and learn everyday. You have been looking at life with big eyes and your long black hair have been the talk of the town. Everyone who saw you commented what an alert baby you are. Mommy's love and Dad's charisma left you spellbound and active. You learnt 'FOMO' quite early.

First few months you were blessed to have all your loved ones around you pampering you and carrying you at a drop of a hat. My favourite part of those times was you falling asleep on me and your soft cheeks squished against my arms or face and I just wanted time to stop there. But time moved on very quickly.

But all this while it has not been an easy ride through the year with you. Ever since your birth our lives had been frantic and exhausting with you being an attention demanding, energetic and alert child. I would wonder everyday where do you get this force of life from? Your cry has been far most the most devastating part of the journey. I felt so helpless not knowing your need at times and that made our lives (days and nights) long and miserable in the beginning. But soon you fell in routines and that made you calm to some extent and part of the day and night. Phew! What relief it was to see you happy, giggling and little noises you made with your parted lips. You saved your beautiful first smile for me and that made my day when I so desperately needed it.

You love so many things, books and a lot of books, balls, ride-ons, crinkling paper, getting off the bed, touching fans and wires, your socks and shoes, your carrier and many more. You love listening to the music just like mommy does. You love roaring like a tiger. We love that too. And you love bath time so much, playing and feeling water for the first time amazed you so much that you kept doing it again. You have a smirky look that I am totally gaga over. After evening snack, you can't wait to just go out in your pram. And once I let you out of pram, you just can't control your freedom. You go on the slide from the wrong side, drifting slowly yourself up the slide and you did manage it the first time you did. What an achievement it was for you my boy! You love playing with Tanvi didi, You are mostly up in the evening by the time she comes back, so eager to hug her and play with her. She loves you to moon and back.

You have five teeth and look so cute. But trust me when I say, it hasn't been easy on either of us or you. The unending battles in the night not knowing so clearly what is bothering you, whether it is an earache, tummy ache or just itchiness in the gums is making you cranky and restless. Your loud and inconsolable cries especially in the night were enough to bring down whole of our world. Your anxious wails made us feel incompetent even after having already raised an angelic child.

What I love the most about you ? Well, I can go on forever and still won't be able to list what is it the most I love about you. To begin with, I love you for who you are, our baby. I love the way your tiny fingers wrap around my face, my chest and my fingers. The featherlike touch is so magical. You little coos make my heart melt and I just want you remain this tiny. I love the silly sounds you make, they are the sweetest sounds I have heard.

Most importantly you love your mom, dad and sister. No wonder your first few words were Mumma, Dida, and Baba (quite late though, not liked by your dad). The year passed by so quickly, that I guess I didn't had enough of baby time with you. Now look at you, you have not just been walking confidently but at times running so fast, it's hard to catch you. And you are so clever that you never miss clacking of doors, so you just know when they are open. You make us follow to the room, just to see you leaning on the bed and enjoying the chase game.

My Son, you are growing up fast and I don't want to remember awful times we had together, whether it was multiple blood test, needle pricking those tiny feet would have made any heart ache or keeping you naked in bilibed with your beautiful eyes covered to protect you from razor sharp light. You are our son-shine and we are so glad we are your parents. Thanks for coming into our lives.

Happy First Birthday Kiaan. It's a beginning of so many new things.

Gratitude

How often do we feel thankful for all the blessings in life? May be a lot of times. How often do we thank people behind those blessings in life? Not quite often.
And I wonder Why ? Sometimes it's sheer procrastination- a beautiful art of delaying things in perspective of doing it someday, sometimes it doesn't seem that necessary or may be lack of recognising the reason or people themselves. For whatever the reason may be, gratitude takes a backseat.

I always had this habit of thanking people for even the jobs that seem mundane. Quite often I would thank my mother and father for all the things they would do for me.  But I guess it is the thankfulness to those who do good beyond their capacity without any expectations.

So I write this as I owe thanks to a lot of reasons behind the blessings in my life.

1. My Family

Life has a sarcastic way of working itself out. I have been in many tough situations where I couldn't change or control much to my best. All I could do was to accept things will fall back in place, may be not the way I desire but may be in my interest. During these hard times, I am thankful I had my family in life and how grateful I felt consciously in that moment.

I am thankful to my Mum and Dad for bringing me into this world, supporting me when I failed and giving me the courage to face what may come. They have been my idol and my pillar of strength. Me and my brother call our Mum 'Champion'. Because she is one, in all sense: from running errands to standing as a pillar of strength after my Dad's demise. My Dad has been my mentor and my strength in thick and thin. He has held my hand when I needed the most without me saying a word to him and he had let me go when I needed to spread my wings. Without him, if I stand today is because of him.

My mum's sisters and brother, their spouses and children, uncles and aunts have stood by us in times of dire need. Their contagious energy and support has overflowed and rippled through our lives. We are such closely knit yet not poking into each others' space. It's a beautiful family I am grateful for and I truly appreciate their presence in our lives. The list entails my masis and their spouses, my mama and mami, my mum's uncles and aunts and my cousins especially Sakshi. I recall various moments when all I wanted was to cry my heart out and one person who supported me was Surbhi Bhabhi. My brother has always been a silent support for me when I was vulnerable and upset. My husband Manik has been a patient listener when my grieving was a mess and each day was insurmountably difficult.

2. People I don't know
Life is short and as much as we know it will come to an end, 'when' is lurking? I have seen people swarm our house at my Dad's sudden demise and then again at my Mother-in-Law's. At the time when you are picking yourself up to move from denial to acceptance of what has happened, there are some people you don't even know, never met before may be but may seem so connected. These people understand silence better than many other and are truly there for you on the darkest nights. These people truly deserve appreciation and a heartfelt gratitude. I have along list, my immediate neighbours, my mum and dad's acquaintainces, mostly acquired , some from sojourn journeys whilst other casual buddies, from my distant cousins and my mum in laws' neighbours.

3. People who have hurt me 
Sometimes people who hurt you bring about a change in life for which you later want to thank them. I have had people who haven't acknowledged my integrity and honest demeanour, my hardwork and painstaking efforts and in return has helped me find better opportunities, given a larger perspective in life and become a stronger person. Their intentional or unintentional moves have paved way for a better course of life. Wouldn't be a good idea to thank them in public, haha

With each passing day after my Dad's departure, I have become more grateful for what I have in life.
Life is too short to moan over petty issues. Not too short to thank those who truly deserve.

New Child, New Hopes

Becoming a mother second time wasn't only hard for me but also unnerving. No, not for the fact that I had lost zeal and energy I had seven years back but more so as people had started seeing seven year gap as a itch. No matter how convinced I was with my decision to be a mother again when I wanted to, people had already fabricated innumerous tales. But I guess nosy do gooders sense the air of confidence and leave you alone.

I had given myself enough time to be prepared to bring yet another being to life whom I have to nurture beautifully and completely. Yes it did take a long time for people around to understand. Kiaan, the name abounds blessings, the grace of God and truly he is, what I believe. 

After Dad parted ways with me, I was no longer interested in the world around me. In frustration to test waters around self, I questioned Almighty of his presence around me and that is when a desire to have a boy was born. I wished for my Dad's personification that was truly mine. And God bestowed upon me her blessings, a beautiful present on the day of Christmas of 2017. 

Kiaan, soon to be three month old has been an amusing little creature and his escapades have been legendary. Every evening when we both look forward to an evening stroll, a part of me is undusting the lost hopes and charms an unetched mind brings.

Aware of his routine, Kiaan was quiet as I lay him in the stroller and fastened the belt. His beautiful big eyes dilated to accommodate immense beauty nature had on offer and sharp ears to absorb distinct sounds. My little dazzler didn't blink an eye ensuring he didn't miss any moment of spectacular display around him, from deep shadow of a canopy of a tree to sun lit evening sky, whisper of our passage through the dry grass to the thick clouds with a silver lining, buzzing sounds of playful children to the whirring chizz of the insects, call of Koel to the ringing phones, tall glassy buildings to heavy traffic on the street across. His ears were responding from the quietest whisper to the loudest bark of a dog. His mouth opened several times in awe and closed itself without much intervention. It seemed like he had seen something I never saw in last four years of my stay in this condo. He soon made me see beyond the cursory look I always had. The same place started to appear magical and celestial. 

Every evening we both look forward to our magical time of unwinding, unlearning and learning new things, of building hopes and dreams from scratch, of enjoying our present and living the moment.

You are never too old for a piece of a cake or more

Yes, it's again that time of the year , it's my Birthday . When it comes to celebrating birthdays, I have always enjoyed pampering my Loved ones on their special day. But as I seem to be nearing the big number , I tend to be dabbling in sobriety and calmness. And especially if it is mine.

With my best friend, my dad, not being the first person to wish me, I have come to an understanding that's it's just another day. I am glad I have passed on the legacy to my daughter and the invisible amulet to my husband who have surpassed me in all capacity to cast that charm. They both have been busy preparing for my day with on purpose sneaky discussions taking about unsure plans A, B, C and so on. I will confess it sometimes generated my interest and at other times completely exasperated me. Nevertheless, knowing my almost to be 7 year old daughter excitedly waiting for my birthday as it soon paves way for her birthday in a few days time. And, she demands the same extent and blend of surprise, enthusiasm and aura, if not more.

So finally on the day of birthday, I woke up to a bird's call, a frequent visitor, reminiscent of unshared and untold memories. Enjoying my everyday cup of tea in serenity, unstirred by any daily hustle, I had made a good start to the day. Only short-lived as I heard my daughter and husband mutter at a distance.

My daughter came out to the living room and gave me an excited hug and dragged me back to our bedroom. Both, my daughter and my husband were prepared to announce the beginning of my day. Surrounded by chic wrapped gifts and self made paper bouquet by my daughter, I had the privilege to unwrap them. Bejeweled with fine creations and extortionate fragrance, I was gleeful. Soon after morning prayers, we headed to Sikh temple. On our way back, our daughter decided to make us succumb to her choices and we all were soon watching Smurfs shortly after. We had a lovely lunch outdoor and returned home. I had some plans to visit the old age home and in the evening I decided to embark on sublime journey of spending my life with people whom I didn't know.

When I returned home, I was ecstatic to see the most beautiful creation,ncovered in blue sky and teacher's favorite accessories 'Books' themed fondant cake made by my husband who has never indulged in baking cakes ever before. Not only was it a surprise but I felt blessed to have such a caring and loving family.

And not just one cake but he had another favorite indulgent awfully chocolate cake kept in for a surprise in case he wouldn't have succeeded in his challenging mission. Well, you are never to old for a piece of cake. This is what exactly what my girlfriends thought when they got me just another cake and gifted me books. 'I wasn't born teacher', I asked myself. But I had a lot of fun with so much going on this day, made me feel special and loved. I truly feel blessed and fortunate to be surrounded by love.

Dry Confessions

Tales of wine tasting

So I finally decided to accompany my husband on a wine tasting tour to Yarra valley in NSW in Australia. As we started looking at the adverts boasting of adventurous journey through the forests, mountain ranges and the vineyards of Victoria, it became all the more enticing for us to set on this remarkable journey we were expecting to experience.

We started our day early around 6.30 am in Oz winter, with our well suited attire that winter forces us. Wondering now that a long coat could do all the wonders, why worry about dressing appropriately for the weather. But really I didnt see Oz mate sporting the coat either. I saw many women wearing tights underneath summer dress with chic scarf. Guys would approve these women to be really hot.

Our tour guide didn't arrive until 8.30 am , so we decided to explore St. Paul's Cathedral opposite to Flinders Street Station. During my stay in Australia, I learnt that constructional plans for this 103 year old building got exchanged for magnificient Mumbai's Victoria Terminus in India.

After picking a few other companions and a 55 minute relaxing ride to unspoilt greenery, lushing vineyards and heavenly backdrop sightings, we reached at the first winery Domaine Chandon.
By this time I was completely convinced by amazing company we had on tour, that this was the favorite time of the day for booze. Yes, indeed, 10 a.m was just the best time to start my favorite activity.

After a detailed tour of the vineyard and cellar door with insight to how grapes are handpicked, fermentation units and yeast is removed from the wine bottles, our group of 8 people arrived at the wine tasting bar. With mostly locals and my Connosieur husband, I felt a bit inadequate in expertise in this widely known and enjoyed area.

Now here I was indulging in an expensive endeavor with no expertise; the next best move was to really learn the palate on my own by trying a different varietal each time.

 I was experiencing a hangover in my head for why would a non drinker land up here. Yes I did, and I didn't had enough courage to not raise up a toast, decline a sparkling glass of wine after a sophisticated tutored information about the wine, and was unprepared to face bewilderness of women my Grandma's age soaking in thoroughly.

After a thorough mastery of Pinot Noir, Chardonay, Shiraz , Tempurilina and more, I was more than prepared to taste these amazing wines. As everybody started enjoying the exquisite, expensive and immersing experience, I was on a lookout for my husband who seemed to enjoy the richness of the offerings and had completely forgotten the miseries of a married men. After he emptied his first glass of sparkling wine, I discreetly passed my lip touch glass in exchange of my husband's limpid goblet. Aah, what a relief for me I conquered as a practitioner in others' eyes and as a wine afficianado.
I kept checking on my daughter occasionally who was busy reading her new found love in Finding Dory, thanks to Ellen show for promoting it so well to pester me into buying one for her. I would say I wasn't amazed at seeing her unmoved indulgence but she made me quite comfortable at the tour by acknowledging my sole purpose for this one. " Go on mum, carry on with wine tasting. I am doing fine." I must admit I felt scandalous.

The elegant journey with a twirl in a glass followed by regurgitation in tract follwed by an ocassional spit in a spitoon and more often covert exchanges had just started. After tasting 8 different wines in the first winery, we paved our way to the next vineyard for more discernable experiences of fruity to earthy, pleasant to dry. Until now, I never knew of taste as a complex sense. The thought of visiting five to six wine tasting in each sessions and 4 more wineries to visit was making me dizzy and I had no clue how will I be able to sustain with my secret mission until then.

Although I didn't really much appreciate the taste of wine anticipated by the aromas, a hedonistic way of enjoying the wine to the fullest but I think this tour made me tad bit adept in gustatory delights. I am seriously thinking of taking up a strategic role as a wine sommelier in future crossing road with a firm crisp full bodied experience.

Walk with me

Dear Tanvi 

Your 6 th Birthday was special. Special in many ways.

One , because I couldn't give you enough of me on your last birthday and you missed me then. Yet you were always so kind and forgiving in your own special ways , comforting me as my mum taking me in her lap , sometimes as my dad holding me in his arms , your soft words cooing in my ears as if you knew What I yearned for. 

I am blessed to have an angel like you who can read my mind , walk through my heart and never leave in despair. You are my savior bringing a smile on my face with your unknowing thoughtful ways that touch my lost soul. Your love for me is divine and pure, you tell people how much you love snuggling with me, draw my picture in almost every piece of paper. I would have never known this definition of love, had I not been your mother. I feel fortunate for you being my daughter and teaching me ways of love and life. You have taught me patience, care, unconditional love and living with joy. I have yelled at you sometimes, you have forgiven me. I have scolded you sometimes and you have forgiven me yet again. I have not given enough time to you sometimes and again you have forgiven me. You have been my granny who has loved me, pampered me more than I ever pampered you. You have feared losing me and longed for me when I was away. You have fallen sick when we were apart even for a few hours and you have remembered me in your deep slumber. You made your first friend in me and you haven't let this friendship take a back seat. I owe you my everything. You have strolled in pink stilettos and adorn my bracelet to feel like me, look like me and be like me in every way you could possibly imagine. I behold a very deep and spectacular place in my heart and I want you to know how much I loved celebrating your special day this year. 

Second, this birthday you were as enthusiastic as ever before, and a much more than a bit more. We had a day of watching our little bee turning into a frantic shopaholic buzz. You took charge of what you wished to wear on your special day with details so intricate that would put any designer to shame. A pristine white evening gown with a dash of shimmer to give it that sparkly mesmerizing glow that could evade all the darkness in one wave of the magic wand. To complement to your incandescent love for life , you picked up glam sparkly charms to adorn your angelic feet and your beautiful long Rapunzel inspired tangled hair sweeping the gloominess in the air and unfurling the peace and joy of childhood. You have a desire to live and enjoy every moment in life and it is contagious. You smile brings a smile to us and your love brightens our heart. This was first time ever I had seen you so vivid for long five hours stomping from one shop to the other to get nonpareil boutique look. 

Lastly , it is your this special day that reminds of myself taking another role in life , Motherhood. It has been a great journey since then, with lows and highs, celebrations and losses, and has taught me more about my Parents. I have overlooked and undermine my mother's virtues and never acknowledged her support in making me a person I am today. You have made me agnize the parents' love is unconditional and unhindered. As parents we wish to see children get along without us and as children it seems the hardest task ever. You have taught me the gap in teaching and learning and why having roots before the wings is so important. You have made me strong as a parent but vulnerable as a child. You have given me a privilege that I am still learning to enjoy. Your laughter has infused in me love and respect for my parents as now I know why they always wanted to see me smiling. They have endured discomfort in life to give me pleasure and made me strong even if they had to go weak in their knees to teach that. I respect how my parents came home unemployed after my wedding to allow me to venture into the sky and set my eyes to create my new world, world you and your dad make. I can't tell in you in words how much love I feel for you as you grow up in my world and my heart only to take on to a different world a few years later. Let me celebrate growing as a mother with you until then and as I do that, owe my gratitude to my parents for having me as their reason to smile.  

Thanking God a zillion times for making me a part of you .

Dedicated to My Dad, Mum and My Daughter Tanvi 

Daunted by Mini Fashionista

We were late. We came home at around 2 a.m from a friend's place post Chinese New Year Party. Tanvi was almost asleep but still talking. Sometimes I wonder did I have too much of high protein diet to have a gabber like this? I was closing the door, rushing to put her to bed when she announced, 'Oh No Mum, take my sandals off and change me into my Night wear.'

Well, this is my soon to be 4 year old daughter.

I must admit that I would like her to be quite organized but in such wee hours of morning , my daughter doesn't let go off it wee bit. Deep inside I feel quite high about it, but she amuses me with her rolling eyes and fastidious sensibilities.

Following the bedtime ritual of pee pee and good night story, a rather short one, we slept in peace. Only this was shortlived. My Fashionista woke up to find something unusual. She seemed to be rather disappointed with the blizzard of footwear and clothes in the living room. She was quick in reiterating, 'Mum, you are not suppose to leave things in living room. Could you please put them back where they belong to?' Before I could even match to my daughter's promptness , living room was looking more clean than ever before.

Everyone was happy but our daughter still wasn't. She was interested in what she was wearing today and if they were a correct match for her, made by me. For first time parents who believe a good fashion sense is just matching pair of clothes, the transformation of our little beanie from obedient to argumentative has been startling. Her room is filled umpteen dresses just picked from wardrobe and left unattended on the floor, bits and pieces of crumpled paper half filled with shabby colour combinations, hair accessories and plastic rubbish only to prove that she  is child prodigy of fashion. Well, she is not one. Perhaps she has perceptions of one though.

One thing I am stirred by is, her masquerade flight of fancy . She will gladly take on the helium balloons and wrap them as wings and pretend as if she was flying in the air, or just pick her dad's tie and swing it to make believe as if monkey's tail. The journey of my bumble bee's unsteady gait to independent confident show stopper has been quite eventful and entertaining, with ocassional hiccups for us as parents.

Lost in the Land Of Zombies

Until I saw Go Goa Gone, I had never thought so deeply about Zombies. Rave Parties, Beaches and Drugs create zombies out of you. Well, the thought seemed quite weird . Nevertheless, it left me intrigued about Zombies, do they really exist or are they fictional?

From their citation in Haitan fables to latest embodiment as a victim of replicating virus, zombies have defied to send across a social message beyond their restricted cognitive skills.

With great introspection, I feel there is a Zombie inside all of us. Sometimes our conditioning and life skills take over our zombie effect and sometimes vice-a -versa.

The recent Himalayan Tsunami has vitiate acres of land and heartlessly swiped away thousands of people , causing irreparable loss for years to come.It has created a void not just on land, but in the hearts of people as well. With large number of people dead and thousands stranded, the state is no less than a ghost town.

Ironically, Uttarakhand, which is often referred as the "Land of the Gods", primarily because of many temples and pilgrimage centres , has reached the Peak of its sins in these heartbreaking times. While some of us are feeling sad, depressed and helpless looking at the videos going viral on social media sites, there are some living midst the dead who have stooped to paradigms unknown to human. Little did the pilgrims knew that undertaking this journey to hills in hope of washing away their sins will beget sins unheard of.
Amid the corpse lying unattended, in times of unexpected and unprepared disaster by Nature, nothing has stopped man from showing his Zombie side, from looting to harassing the helpless, robbing even those who have perished in calamity, preying upon those who came for prayers. Some of them who have escaped the horror scenes have paid exorbitant prices for their own and loved ones' sustenance.

The current scenario is no less than terrifying, mindless Zombies in tumultous times heading towards the end of humanity.In the real plague, would we wait for a real hero to emerge to bring us the acumen, we need for sustenance and progression? Nature's reply to the outbreak of sins have given us a lot more questions to ponder upon.